


100 Proof (or five times Blair was drunk when Serena was sober)

by brocanteur



Category: Gossip Girl
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-02-13
Updated: 2009-02-13
Packaged: 2017-10-14 19:46:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/152810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brocanteur/pseuds/brocanteur





	100 Proof (or five times Blair was drunk when Serena was sober)

1.

Surprisingly, the day of Serena's sixteenth birthday, when Serena stole a bottle of Dom and they holed up in Blair's room because Lily was off maybe, possibly, getting married again and Serena wasn't in the mood for a party, no matter how hard Blair tried to get her to go to the one she had fastidiously planned.

They watched _Breakfast at Tiffany's_ because Serena was feeling indulgent and because it was the only movie they both knew by heart (Blair because she loved it so, and Serena through osmosis). They drank champagne, but Serena was less interested in drinking than she was in pouting, so Blair—who had a low tolerance for alcohol anyway—allowed herself to become intoxicated with Dom Perignon and the smell of Serena's hair as they pressed their shoulders together.

She fell asleep, one moment slurring together the words to 'Moon River,' the next telling Serena how much she loved her.

 

2.

That one time after Serena got a talking to from Lily about coming home drunk and she said she wouldn't drink but she had a couple of cosmos anyway. Which to her, Blair thought, was probably like having two glasses of water, because Serena had the constitution of a sailor. Blair, on a break from Nate—not having eaten anything all night lest her friend Bulimia rear her ugly head—decided getting wasted was probably the best way to deal with boredom and the insistent hunger clawing at her stomach.

She drank until she vomited anyway. Serena helped her to the club's bathroom, held her hair back. "This is so hum- humiliating," Blair managed. "So un-fucking-dignified."

"How many times have you held my hair for me, B?"

"Too many," Blair replied flatly. She rinsed her mouth and stared at herself in the mirror; thank God for waterproof mascara. Then she sighed and glanced at Serena. "I feel like dancing."

Serena frowned. "You just threw up."

That's nothing new, Blair wanted to say. Instead she shrugged and told Serena she felt fine and they made their way back to the dance floor. They danced and danced until the lights blurred together and they were clutching each other, breathless.

Blair wondered if this was what sex was like—the rush of adrenaline, the sweat, the closeness, feeling someone else's hot breath against your face.

 

3.

At Blair's graduation party, which seemed like the least appropriate time but since there was nothing appropriate about public drunkenness, Blair forgave herself the transgression. The thing, whatever it had been, with Chuck was definitely over, and she was feeling more like a castoff than she'd ever felt in her life.

"I'm _attractive,_ " she said forcefully when Serena pulled her upstairs, towards the bathroom. "Aren't I?"

"Blair, of course you are." Serena said this very seriously as she began running the shower. Blair was standing, wobbling, teetering on the edge of passing out.

"Then why the fuck doesn't anyone want me?"

Serena stopped tugging on Blair's backzip and leveled her with a look that almost sobered Blair up. "That's not true," Serena whispered. She touched Blair's face, running her fingers from her cheek down to her chin. She tapped it lightly with her index finger before her face transformed by way of a grin.

Blair found herself smiling, too, but she persisted. "Fine, then. Who wants me?"

Serena's smile softened and she kissed Blair on the forehead before beginning to undress her again. "Shower, B, and I'll bring you a strong cup of coffee. I don't think you want to see the look on your mother's face just yet."

 

4.

At Yale. A frat party. _What_ had she been thinking?

Serena, on the other end of the phone line, giggled annoyingly and told Blair to find someone nice to take her back to her dorm.

"There is no one nice here. _No one._ "

"B, that can't be true."

There were rooms, somewhere. She was feeling dizzy. Maybe if she just closed her eyes for a bit...

"B?"

"Um, still here. Hold on."

She found a dingy little nook that must've belonged to someone, but the bed was made and it looked like maybe they hadn't been back for a few days. She closed the door behind her, hearing Serena breathe into her ear.

"What are you doing?" Serena asked, sounding a concerned, maybe.

Blair rolled her eyes. "I need to wait until the world stops spinning. Or, you know what I mean, you and your Brownie pot parties," she murmured, tumbling into the bed. The duvet smelled clean. Yay. Small mercies, and all that.

"Blair... Maybe I should call Dan?"

"Don't you _dare_ call him. God, he'd lord it over me for all time. Never. I'd rather fall on my own sword than have Dan Effing Humphrey come to my rescue."

Serena laughed but it was an indulgent sort of laugh, Blair could tell. "Don't fall asleep," she warned Blair.

"I won't. Beware date rape," she said, feeling like maybe she _could_ fall asleep. "Talk to me, S."

"What do you want me to say?"

"Tell me you love me even when I act like an idiot."

"I love you especially when you're acting like an idiot," Serena replied, and Blair smiled because she could hear the fondness in Serena's voice.

Her eyelids were heavy, but she didn't close them. She pressed her face against the pillow—hard, cheap—and whispered, "Keep talking."

 

5.

Now.

She's drunk now. Giggling, foolish, clinging—that sort of drunk. And Serena's holding her up, smiling at her, but not drunk because she's not the one who had to get up the courage...

"B—" she starts to say, but Blair stops her with a shake of her head.

"No, shhhh," she mumbles, aware that she's totally and completely at the mercy of Serena's arms.

"I should have cut you off ages ago," Serena says absently. She rearranges her grip when Blair starts to sag a little—she doesn't mean to, but her legs won't help—and adds, "Come on, we'll grab a cab."

When they're in the back of a taxicab and the light is dim and—oh, why is it always the back of a car?—Blair presses closer. Serena always smells just the right kind of good and her hands are warm and when Blair finally succumbs to everything she's feared about her relationship with Serena, it's to discover that Serena's mouth tastes like appletinis and _home._


End file.
